Is it easier if you hate your boss?

Seriously. If I didn't like my boss so much, the conversation I had to have would have been so much easier... I resigned.

Our small firm had changed a lot over the past three and half years--and I do mean A LOT. On one hand, it seems like that's not much time to be in the same job. On the other hand, it felt like I'd been there forever. Through all of the changes I've weathered with my boss, I've grown to be a sort of "right hand" to him. We trust each other. He cares about me as a person, and vice versa. I've always been dedicated to him and the business. But something changed recently that sent me on this new path...

Making a transition was on my mind for a couple months. My boss was out of the country on a well deserved vacation, and I was at the office keeping the company going with the rest of my small team. The stress came on slowly, right before he left, and I thought I could manage it once he was gone. But after he left it hit me like a tornado--I didn't know which way was up.

I went to the other two managers and told them I needed help, as I didn't feel I was getting enough support. But I didn't get help. What I did get a week later, as I was coming out of my own personal hell after weeks of chiropractic and acupuncture treatment, was confirmation that my stress was being felt by them and the rest of the team. So I left the office to work from home for the rest of the week.

My new mantra became, "I can either be stressed, or just say 'fuck it'" which later I realized was a sign. You see, I am a quality focused individual. And my co-managers are quantity focused. When people would fail to clean up a huge lunch buffet from a training and let our office look, quite frankly, disgusting, it was always me who would initiate cleaning. When payments had to be made, if I didn't do it, it didn't get done (I couldn't even trust anyone else to simply put a check in the mail). Everyone was stressed, understandably. But I went to my team for support, and that was held against me. I realized my connection wasn't to the business or my teammates, but to my boss.

It's truly a wonderful thing to have such a great relationship with your boss. But you have to remember to do what's best for yourself. What do you want from your job? Monetary growth? Learning opportunities? Management experience? If you love your job--that's awesome. Just make sure you love it for yourself, not out of obligation to anyone else.