That's me today. When I accepted my new job a couple months ago, everything in my life felt like it was coming together. My family was great--everyone was healthy and had no complaints. My relationship was amazing, and I thought, "I finally got this one right." So this new job was the missing piece. When it hit me that everything was coming together at the same time for the first time in my life, I immediately felt anxiety... What was going to fall apart?
Well, now three more months down the road, my relationship has become very strained. There are no real problems, which makes it actually harder. He's just stressed and down, and I've tried to be supportive and optimistic. We love each other, but it's not like it used to be.
I feel empty and sad. We aren't breaking up, but it feels like it in my heart, and I don't know if we'll be able to recover. I haven't had good relationships in the past, and this feeling is all too familiar to me. I really thought this time it was so different--and it was. But it changed. I wonder if it can change back?
My point is, for whatever reason, when you feel like you're broken and hurting on the inside, you have to wear a happy face on the outside. I think this is hard for some people--maybe most people. Being a good manager is about leadership, and a strong leader can't come in Monday morning with teary eyes and a bad attitude.
When you manage people, your personal issues have to take a time out. Your team depends on you to set the tone, to inspire them and create an environment with good energy. No one wants to work for--let alone with--with a Debbie Downer. So this is my lesson for young professionals. As my mom used to say, "suck it up."
